That’s What HE/SHE Said Series

Ever wonder what the opposite sex is thinking? HWY 111 just wrapped up a 4 week series talking about just that…what does HE/SHE think about?

This series was fun and eye opening on many levels. It might be scary to enter into the mind of a girl/guy and watch how they act or react to situations. But isn’t that what makes us special. We believe that God made us as our separate genders to show just how different God is. We think, act, feel, talk, listen, love, and create in different ways. We are God’s image.

Throughout the 4 weeks we talked about:

1. Week 1 How we spend our time. Girls think about guys on a regular basis but guys have other things that they focus on. How we spend our time is different. Sometimes we need space. Sometimes we need attention. This lesson was about how we need to be open to when a guy says he needs space, give it to him. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you, he just wants to be doing his own thing. Girls need attention and when a girl asks her guy friends for it, it would be nice for them to give it.

Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.” As brothers and sisters in Christ showing love sometimes means giving or letting go of the time with the opposite sex without being offended.

2. Week 2 we talked about how guys can’t read a girls mind and how guys often don’t understand why a girl is upset.

Ever watched the movie with Mel Gibson called What women want? Mel ends up with the ultimate super power for a man… he can hear the girls thoughts! Could you imagine what that’d be like? No more guessing. No more wondering what you did wrong. No more stressing about making your lady happy!

For some reason though, girls want guys to read their minds and respond accordingly. Sometimes it seems like it could be a sick game that girls like to play or maybe they have watched too many chick flicks, but it’s diffidently a reality that guys face when they hang out with girls. You’ve probably experienced a girl being mad at you for seemingly no reason, and you were wondering, “what did I do?” More than likely it’s not what you did, but what you didn’t do. She had an idea in her mind of how she wanted you to behave, and you failed to live up to that idea.

Guys on the other hand only have 3 ways to respond to confusing situations. Let me paint a scenario for you:

(Picture this scene) Paul and Tim—best friends—have a conflict. Paul sees Tim check out his girlfriend with his wondering eyes. Paul is upset and confused about how to handle the situation. He comes up with 3 possible solutions:

  1. Ignore Tim. He can shop as long as he doesn’t buy.
  2. Punch Tim. No words needed. Conflict solved
  3. Verbally assault Tim. Distract him from the situation be teasing him, threatening him, or putting him in his place.

This is it girls. This is how guys deal with conflict. Even with you. And lets face it, when it comes to resolving a conflict the last 2 options are off the table which leaves us with option one: Ignore.

Ultimately guys want to make the girls happy- and guys can’t do that because we lack the ability to read the girls mind. Communication is KEY to a successful relationship.

James 1:19 Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. 

3. Week 3 brought girls into a new perspective of what guys notice about girls. Guys have not trained themselves to notice the little things that girls do to make themselves stand out. Girls also learned that where girls care about their appearance- guys care about their performance. How fast they can go, how much they can dunk, how much money they can make, or how much weight they can lift. It’s not that the guys don’t care about what girls care about– its more like they haven’t learned to notice the small things.

The guys learned how girls compare themselves to other girls due to their insecurities. Some of the most common comparisons are through fashion, looks, and their relationships with guys. The compare game can sometimes be vicious and hurtful.

Overall this week we drove home the point that encouraging each other is very important. Don’t shy away from a chance to build someone up. Words mean a lot- even with both genders speaking them.

Ephesians 4:29-32  Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. 30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

4. Week 4 was our wrap up of the HE/SHE said series. This week hit home for many of the students. Guys learned that a lot of girls LOVE to talk. It’s like a drug for some of them. Words come naturally and flows easily from their mouths. Clothes, makeup, hair, kitties – it doesn’t matter the topic, girls will talk about it… Often really fast and usually for a long time! Studies have been done, and the results are amazing – in an average day, guys use 7000 words (that doesn’t include grunts!). Girls, on the other extreme, speak or text 20,000 words a day! Almost 3 times more words than guys use! Girls LOVE talking just as much as they LOVE a good listener. We encouraged the guys to be active listeners when the ladies want to talk.

Genesis, chapter 1- the last part says: “so God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them“. Our creative God decided to mix it up a bit and make guys and girls different.

Girls had a much more in depth look at why guys sometimes act the way they do. Ever tried to Water Ski? Tyler brought up an example about how he, as a child, had his dad teach him how to ski. Tyler failed over and over and over. While failing he probably drank about 20 gallons of lake water. Face plants, doing the splits, smacking the water over and over again. This example was a great way to show how guys learn to talk to girls. They fail over and over again. But we are relentless! We never give up no matter how embarrassing it is. Guys fail at speaking and often don’t notice how hurtful their words are.

For girls, it is important for you to speak up and remind us how hurtful the guys words can be sometimes, and guys need to take that correction gracefully.

Proverbs 12:18 Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.

It was a great eye-opening series that still applies to relationships that have experience. God created us just the way we are. We are perfect creations in his eyes…just different. Lets love and encourage each other daily. Most of us need that now more than ever.